


I'll Kiss You Again Between The Bars

by Anonymous



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, M/M, Mental Health Issues, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-17 20:58:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14839046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: "Drink up, baby, stay up all night; the things you could do, you won't but you might"





	1. Chapter 1

A mess of heat is an uncomfortable situation.

 

It comes in the form of an overused electric heater that has had its controller broken during a winter night so the heat stays on a particular level, a bowl of spilled soggy ramyun on the thin comforter they had spread on the floor for the absence of a commoner's bed _(they are less of a commoner, just barely one bow away above beggars)_ and a huge human snoring and breathing at Junmyeon's collarbones with his long, skinny legs bracketing the lower part of his body.

 

Not to mention the pungent smell of liquor permeating from his lips mixed with the expensive yet strangely nauseating fragrance often worn by well-off ladies. Or the small reddening bite mark adorning his neck, barely hidden by the unbuttoned collar of his shirt.

 

Spring is already in season, yet Junmyeon thinks his winter has just begun.

 

-

 

"Leaving already?" Junmyeon is annoyed when his voice wavers without warning like this, and Yifan cannot hide his smile when he sees Junmyeon's eyes averting from his.

 

"Yes." He answers curtly as he bends down to tie his Jordan. He cannot remember when he untied it, but then he is reminded of the booze and the hands that were all over him last night, and he is able to come up with a few suggestions.

 

"Don't- don't you think it's better to, like, really study for our finals this time?"

 

"Junmyeon, honey. It's one thing that you kinda sorta drag me into this 'living together' thing since last year, it's another thing when you try to make me stay at home and babysit you, too." Silence, and then sound of pieces of papers being dragged across the table. Something scribbled on them. Papers again. Scribbling.

 

Junmyeon is ignoring him again, and Yifan doesn't mind. He'll come home tonight no matter how late it is in the morning, and Junmyeon will be here in this small, overpaid room of two to drag his sorry ass to bed again.

 

-

 

"You're an idiot," Yifan hisses as Junmyeon scrapes a piece of dry blood away from the side of his mouth. In his mind he gently notes to always check if the girl's boyfriend is home before he starts shoving his tongue down her throat.

 

"Yeah, yeah. Now stay still. This is going to sting a little." Gentle fingers dabbing disinfectant on his cuts, and they are sitting close enough for Yifan to feel subtle heat from Junmyeon's body.

"You really are an idiot. You shouldn't have bothered with me. It's better for you to leave me alone." Yifan repeats, like a broken record over and over again. Junmyeon is not saying anything. Gentle fingers are still at work, fixing Yifan with his best effort.

 

"M-hmm." Junmyeon replies, ripping off the small plastics from the back of band-aid in his hands with immense difficulty, and smiles when he succeeds a couple of seconds later.

 

"Promise me you will leave me?" Yifan asks him, but Junmyeon keeps quiet as he puts the band-aid on Yifan's left cheek. He lets his hand stays there for a moment, brushing his thumb against Yifan's lips, and gently smiles.

 

"M-hmm." He finally says, pulling Yifan closer and kisses his earlobe. Yifan shuts his eyes and takes in Junmyeon's scent; the mix smell of coffee and mint, the baby talc he loves to put on after shower, the old books he loves so much -- everything that Yifan is not.

 

"You must have had it rough today. Do you want to go to bed?" Junmyeon asks against his neck, and Yifan feels his burden crumbles off his shoulders. He hates how Junmyeon will always comes around with a shovel to dig him up from these ruins, and instead of letting himself being saved, he would drag Junmyeon deeper into it with him.

 

"Yes. Yes, I'd love to," he answers, turning around and lightly kisses one side of Junmyeon's lips.

 

-

 

Yifan drags his palm on the smooth, pale skin of Junmyeon's naked back; taking in his warmth and distinct pulses of his heartbeat. Junmyeon flinches a little, but he isn't waking up. Maybe Yifan's palms are cold as usual, which is not something he rarely points out.

 

"You are different," he silently whispers, not intended for Junmyeon to hear. This relationship business with Junmyeon is a funny thing. Even when he said things that could make Junmyeon hates him, he knows he will not be able to live if they are apart. And knowing Junmyeon, it also irks Yifan that he will be able to move on from this whatever they are currently having after a few nights of hard studying or probably moping around alone in this small apartment.

 

When Junmyeon invited him _(nicely, because Junmyeon is never rude)_ to live together in this rundown place last year after Yifan was thrown out from his previous lover's place, Yifan thought something was wrong with this guy. He barely knew Junmyeon - they were classmates in a few lectures, that was it. They don't have the same circle of friends; Junmyeon can always be seen with the tanned-skin, book enthusiast named Jongin and the aviation nerd with crazy electric hair and obviously taller than most people _(except for Yifan)_ called Chanyeol, and Yifan is... Well Yifan is always with the beautiful girls and guys alike.

 

He remembers asking Junmyeon if something is wrong with his head, and seeing his reddened cheeks and wet lips as he tried to find the right answer kinda made Yifan staggered a bit.

 

"I don't know," Junmyeon had said. "I just want to try and live with you."

 

Weird, isn't it? People have been asking a lot of things from him, mostly for pleasure. And Yifan is pretty sure seeing him the morning after has not been pleasureable for many. His mood swings and his grumpiness, and sometimes his sadness and frustration that comes along with his anxiety out of nowhere makes him tearful right after he wakes up, and people hate it. Because it isn't fun to babysit a grown man when all they wanted last night was fun. The reason why he never stay for the night after the deed is done.

 

"What makes you so different?" He whispers again, this time palms go slightly lower towards Junmyeon's waist and the little curve just above his ass. There is a little mole there next to the red mark he left last night, so hard and prominent and deep that has made Junmyeon writhing and moaning in pleasure.

 

Junmyeon is still sleeping but Yifan can feel him shivering against his touches. Yifan closes in, wraps his arms around Junmyeon's naked torso and kisses his fragile-looking nape hungrily.

 

"I hate different. It throws me off my path. It makes me dangerous for you."

 

But still he holds on tight.

 

-

 

"Aren't you guys dating?"

 

Chanyeol's voice wakes him up from the deep reading he is having and makes him look up.

 

"Who?"

 

"You and that asshole." He sticks out his thumb towards his back and Junmyeon can see Yifan is out in the daylight, flirting with a brunette senior with a remarkable size for her chest.

 

"Oh, him. We're just living together."

 

"And help each other masturbate?" Chanyeol snickers, and Junmyeon wishes his stupid face is not as red as it is now. Chanyeol takes a seat next to him and scoots closer than what is comfortable.

 

"It weirded me out when you suddenly told me he's living with you, but now that I see it... Did he extort you to let him stay at your house? You're naturally nice to everyone so it's a futile effort for you trying to say it to him directly. Because you know, I can take him out with my fists." Chanyeol offers seriously, teeth tight and fists clenched. Junmyeon laughs a tad too loud and makes a few heads turn around to where they are sitting.

 

"No I wouldn't want you to harm yourself. Your hands are important for all those model airplanes to be built, Chanyeol. Besides, he's not extorting me or anything. We're fine." He pats Chanyeol's head as his friend leans onto his shoulder with a sigh of relief.

 

"But you two are sleeping together, right?" Chanyeol asks again, not satisfied with no answer from Junmyeon. Taking a deep breath, Junmyeon closes his eyes and nods.

 

"M-hmm."

 

"This isn't the way, Junmyeon. You won't get better like this." Chanyeol coos, one hand taking Junmyeon's into his lap, and squeezes them together. Junmyeon lets him.

 

"But this is the only way I know, Chanyeol. This is how I _heal_."

 

"M-hmm."

 

-

 

**TBC**


	2. I'll Get You

“You were with that weird-haired guy yesterday.”

“Hmm?”

“No… nothing.”

Papers turning softly against the surface of old wooden study desk that Junmyeon picked up from the old lady living next door a few months ago. She was invited by her son to live with him, and she was told not to worry about bringing all her furniture with her. She had told Junmyeon she was going to be sad leaving him like this after almost three years taking care of each other (she hates Yifan, though, because Yifan pukes all over her front door more than thrice on Sunday evenings) but she said it with a smile, so Junmyeon figured that she will be just fine.

“What… what are you guys talking about when you hang out… _like that_?”

“ _Like that?_ Like how?” papers stop turning, and soft ends of a short-trimmed fingernails are silently dribbling on the thick surface of a closed book. The rusty metal fan sitting in between them whirs as it does its best to make sure both its owners don’t die of heat, even at 6 in the evening.

“Ugh… nevermind.” Yifan stays flat on the floor, stomach against the rough surface of a cracked tile. His naked torso feels cold and in this weather that is nice, but nice means nothing when it won’t push him up on his feet and start doing things that will categorise him as a living human being.

“Do you want me to fix you something for dinner?” Junmyeon asks distractingly; the dimming sunlight from outside their small apartment makes a few last effort to pierce through the thin veil of curtain and onto Junmyeon’s pale face. It hits the surface of his thick glasses and disperses into tiny orange fractions of light, and they all fall onto Yifan’s naked back.

“…Not feeling like eating anything.”

“How about a shower?” Junmyeon asks again, this time with a very soft voice and Yifan thinks Junmyeon just doesn’t want him to feel patronised with the question. Yifan doesn’t. In fact, he doesn’t feel anything.

“No.”

“… _me?_ ” Junmyeon offers with little confidence, and Yifan almost laugh at the offer. But still, he shakes his head.

“I’m sorry. I’m just… _tired_. And a little sad.” Yifan replies, and rolls over to lie on his back. The thin brown blanket that is covering his lower part of the body slips to a side, outlining the shape of his crotch. If Junmyeon is ever secretly drooling at the sight of a helpless Yifan at the moment, Yifan doesn’t even care.

But Junmyeon is not, and Yifan knows that. Nothing is desirable about him right now, and isn’t it sad when he is made aware of it by his own brain, yet doesn’t even have the guts to do anything about it? Being messy and dirty and not even having an ounce of wanting to at least dress in his pajama – Yifan should really have a check on himself.

If only he can. If only he feels like doing it. If only.

“Why are you sad?”

“Thinking of the inevitable end of this ridiculous relationship we’re having. I don’t want it to end, but you need to leave me alone.”

“M-hmm.”

Junmyeon opens his textbook again, and begins to read. His glasses slide down his sweaty nose, so he pushes them back up before he turns to the next page.

“Don’t you think that it is time for you to leave me?” Yifan asks, repeating the routine question without missing a beat.

“M-hmm.” Junmyeon says as his eyes are still glued onto the current page of his textbook. He slaps his left thigh a couple of times, trying to kill the buzzing blood-sucking bastards that are already out since the end of spring a couple of weeks ago. Yifan sighs, and rolls over towards Junmyeon so they will be nearer to each other.

“It has been a year. Don’t you think you’ve seen enough of me now? Don’t you think you’ve long exceed your ‘wanting to try living together’ with me now?”

“It _has_ been a year, isn’t it? That didn’t feel too long. Time flies when we’re too busy to notice it, don’t you think?” Junmyeon exclaims excitedly, abandoning his books and immediately cradles Yifan’s head so that it sits on his lap instead. Unprepared with the sudden action, Yifan flails around a little while before he finally settles with however Junmyeon wants to hold him right now.

“I don’t get you,” Yifan says, frowning as Junmyeon bends down to make sure his chapped lips reach Yifan’s cheeks and forehead and nose. Yifan can hear Junmyeon chuckle when he tries to push him away so he would stop showering him with butterfly kisses, but Junmyeon’s hands are cold to his bare skin, and Yifan needs the coldness in this kind of weather even when his chest is frozen.

“You don’t have to. I’ll get you,” Junmyeon replies, and continues to cradle Yifan’s face closer to his so he can kiss him on the lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> do tell me if you feel this needs a continuation. otherwise, i'll just consider this an unfinished universe; like how most of our comrades' were.


End file.
